Sharing Each Other's Burdens....

Galations 6:2 Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

God put "bearing each other's burdens" on my heart a few months ago. I have been chewing on it to really define what it means to me. Being in a season of challenge for the past couple of years, we have had first hand experience with those who follow this and those who do not. It has been interesting, humbling, and . .. honestly . . . disappointing. We have had experiences with people that have been God's hands on earth bearing our burdens. Those experiences have been so incredibly humbling and have made us feel so cared about. We have also had the opposite experiences. In all honesty, many of those have been disappointing and hurtful. As much as I don't really want to admit it, this is the truth. I have also been convicted to look at my own behaviors to see how I show up for others. At the very least, I have learned so much during our season.

It is interesting to me how many people tell you they are so busy. Yep . .. I know . .. life is busy. We all have the same 24 hours each day. I challenge all of us to stop saying how busy we are. Please stop telling this to other people. And for goodness sake, do not say it to people who are sick and struggling. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard . . I was thinking about you but have just been so busy, I haven't had time to reach out. I am going to be brutally honest here. What I hear when that is said to me . .. "I have thought about you but you do not rank high enough for me to make you a priority". Bearing each other's burdens does not mean "when a bit of time falls in my lap I will try to fit you in". Bearing each other's burdens means I make you a priority. I may have to make a different choice in my day in order to do that.

While in the process of "chewing" on this. My cousin's 15 year old daughter journaled on this verse and shared it on Instagram. I reached out to her to ask what bearing each other's burdens means to her and this is what she said . .."I think bearing each other's burdens includes helping loved ones and those close to you with their struggles, and offering them unconditional love and support as well as help if and when they want it. I think it also entails listening to them and always being there for them, in order to help them feel like they have someone they can lean on and share their burdens with."

You guys . .. this is so spot on. I can honestly say that Avery gets it. To be honest she gets it more than most adults I know.

Those who have burdens are not asking for them. We do not want to be in our seasons of suffering. I can promise you that Brad did not enjoy being unemployed for almost 18 months. He worked hard everyday to get a job. He searched, he interviewed, he did all the things and God had a different plan. At the time we may not have understood why God had us in a holding pattern but He did. We can certainly tell you so much that came from that and we are happy to share if you are interested. I definitely do not want to be in the place I am currently in healing from my concussion. This season of having most things stripped from my abilities is completely frustrating. I can give you some guesses why God is allowing me to still be here, but I do not know for sure. I definitely get a lot of time to chew on topics! I do hope that it makes me do a priority reset. Some of the greatest blessings have been seeing people live this verse. Those who have chosen to walk with us during our season. Those who have chosen to bear our burdens.

This is very humbling. When you are a driven, go getter type of person, it is hard to be shut down and to have to admit you need help. This has definitely been a lesson for me which I am tackling in the book I started writing.

We have been honored to have people show us the true meaning of walking along side and bearing our burdens. These people check in often, bring meals, pray with us, and want to hear the truth about how things are going. They let you talk without fixing everything. Bearing burdens means showing up and going out of your way to support people in their time of struggle. These people have asked what we need and they really want to know what it is.  And, these people treat you like you are normal . .. they do not make you feel like a burden.  It takes a village to do life. It really takes a village in the seasons of struggle. Even today I had to reach out to a few people to ask for help next week since Grace will be helping at our church adventure days and I am still unable to drive. I simply have to ask for help. I cannot do this alone and neither can anyone.

The greatest example I can give you of bearing each other's burdens has been Brad's treatment of me during the past 5 1/2 months. I am not sure I can totally convey the ways in which he has been bearing my burdens. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I am not sure I would be as patient, kind, loving, and calm about everything. Brad has not once made me feel like a burden. He juggles the craziness with calmness. As I have been able to do more he lets me know when it would help him if I find a ride or if I can throw together dinner or something else. But, in asking, he ALWAYS allows me to be honest if it is too much or I don't feel up to it. Brad has every right to be frustrated and complain. This is not what he signed up for. The wife he had is not the same person he has now (this could be good in many ways!). He has to be patient every day not knowing how I will be feeling. He does not get frustrated with the fact that our plans are always a maybe depending on me. He has chosen to bear my burdens by rolling with everything. I actually believe that has been one of the reasons I am healing. My house is a place of peace and calm. It is a safe haven for me to heal. Brad has allowed me to do what I can when I can and does not do anything but make me feel cared for and loved in the process. That is bearing each other's burdens.

I hope as I heal and enter life again, that I do a full reset. Brad and I have been talking a lot about this. What do we want our life to look like when it is "normal" again? What we know for sure is that we are creating a new normal. We desire a life where our priorities are more aligned with God's purpose for our lives. Where we are loving people more than schedules. Where we choose to bear each other's burdens regularly.

How do you show up and bear other's burdens? Do you need to re-evaluate how this looks in your life? Is this something you currently value? This is a command God has given us. I hope we all chose to look at it differently and honor what God has commanded us to do.

Month 5 Update

5 months . . . I actually am not totally sure what to write today. 5 months ago I hit a patch of ice while driving and crashed into another car that had slid on the ice before me. At that moment it seemed we were ok . . Grace was fine and I seemed fine. The people in the other car were fine so the only issue was the hassle of a damaged car. Well . . that is what I thought at that time. Never in a million years did I think that 5 months down the road this would all still be an issue. Y'all, concussions are simply not a joke. The athletes getting multiple concussions and being put back in the game . .. this is just ridiculous and needs to stop. It took a couple of days before we really started to see the issues and a couple of weeks to be assessed by the amazing practitioners in my town to truly understand what was going on and the fact that time, tons of rest, and a multitude of therapies would be my full time job for the foreseeable future.

Fast forward to today...I have come a long way and have a very long way to go. I am thankful that I feel good most days. I am thankful that I am able to get outside and walk fast for exercise for 45 minutes a day. I am thankful that some days I can write my blog for a few minutes. I am thankful that I can cook simple meals as long as I don't have to chop or use a recipe. I am thankful I can spend a couple of hours at a time with people. I am thankful I can go to church with a hat, sunglasses and earplugs some Sundays. I am thankful that some days I can go to the store and make it through a short list without completely shutting down.

Then some times I realize that we live in a world that requires so much processing and I just cannot do that currently. That is when I know how long the road ahead is. I am willing to put in the work. I am willing to do the therapies. Most of the time I have a pretty good attitude about where I am and where I am going. Then some days I am human and I have a pity party. Generally the pity party days come when my eyes have been particularly wonky and painful and my brain is on fire. When simply getting up in the morning is hard and each activity of the day is challenging. I know that right now I am probably making a bad choice . . . between vision therapy this morning followed by the grocery store and a walk, being on the computer is not my best move . . and I can tell. So this post may be written over the course of a couple of days and that is ok.

What I really want is for people to be aware. I really want people to understand concussions as well as other silent battles being fought by many. Whether it is chronic illness, mental illness, etc ... these battles are unseen and lonely. I can share the concussion side. And my concussion story is vastly different than somebody else's concussion story. For me, since my visual processing is so affected, I am totally shut down in most of life. I still listen to audiobooks primarily. I learned this weekend that I am not ready for mini golf. Way too much to think about, process and look at. Seriously .. . mini golf? Thankfully I do ok walking but realizing that riding a bike will be a ways off. The balance, processing of data, etc at a faster speed is not something I am ready to do. So, time for more patience.

I have tried to figure out how to explain what I feel like. Right now I can tell you that I feel pressure in my head, a headache and my whole body is going a bit numb. Actually speaking words is hard and my mind is struggling to think. This is from looking at the screen... Somebody else described each day as feeling like you have a migraine without the pain (though plenty of days it is a full blown migraine). Our brains are so incredible and they really let you know when they are not happy!

Each day is a new adventure. I am so thankful to have my family together for the summer. My boys are such amazing people and I am blessed to get time with them. Many people going through silent battles are doing it alone and I am incredibly blessed to have the 4 other people in my house supporting me. God has shown up in big ways during this process. During this time I get to continue to learn to rely on others for so many things.

Anyway . .. the basic update is I am on a journey to wellness and only God knows what that journey will look like. My prayer is to be able to tolerate screens, to be able to drive, and to get back to "normal" life without my brain shutting down. For now, I enjoy the time when I feel a bit normal and can spend time with my family. For each of you fighting a silent battle, I see you and I support you. God loves you and is there for you every minute of everyday. No matter what your struggle, you are not alone. We all need to remember that everyone has a story. My prayer is that we can support each other on each of our journeys. Cheers to a beautiful day and reaching out to somebody on your heart!