Functional Family!

Happy Saturday! Health and fitness is not the only part of our Journey to Wellness. I find the overwhelming number of "tasks" in my life to be paralyzing at times. Besides the fact that many of them are not very fun, there are just so many! Do you find that when you have a big project to tackle your mood will change, you are frustrated and might even take it out on those around you. Big huge hand raise from this gal! My family would be first in line to tell you that is me completely. Thankfully they still love me! Phew! Seriously though, I am sitting here blogging instead of cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms. And I am dreading doing those later...yuck! Blogging is way more fun! Unfortunately life is not always fun and we have to get those tasks completed. My goal is to make the process as functional as possible so I can remove some of the stress and frustration behind it.

We have hit a point in our family where things are just complete chaos. 3 kids in 3 schools all with activities, Brad and I both working, a fabulous house we have been blessed with but takes a lot to keep it up, lastly...Brad and I might just want a life outside of all this! Add to all of that feeding a family healthy meals takes planning and preparation..sadly we were winging it every night and that caused more frustration between Brad and I at the witching hour of the day. Just typing this raises my anxiety level a wee bit! We are not the only family out there with this kind of ridiculousness! I know most of us live in a state of "reactive". What I know to be 100% true is that everything will function better when we can switch to being proactive.

So began the process of our family being proactive. I do not want the 5pm tense conversation about what is for dinner or the long "to do" list in my head or in my notes for nobody else to see or help with. Enough! There are 5 completely capable people in this house and we all need to help to make it work. So, I may get a bit preachy here but Brad and I are firm believers that kids do chores. They do them because they are part of our family and live in our home. We provide them with shelter, food, clothes and pretty darn good life so it is not too much to ask for them to help out around here. Quite honestly, there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done...it takes a village, right? In our house, our village has 5 people who can all participate. I saw this on facebook last night and all I can say is...AMEN!

I am an organizational freak. I love the planners and the colored pens to coordinate and make it pretty. Years ago I assigned each of us a color and had a 3 month dry erase calendar that I would color code all of our activities so the kids could see it. I THRIVE in this type of environment. The problem is, it does take some work to achieve this type of environment and, with all of our chaos, I was getting farther and farther behind on organization. Brad and I left for our vacation both stressed out, wiped out and completely spent. We felt like we were living in this tornado of crazy and needed to find a way to make it stop! Thankfully we had the time away from the crazy to think, talk and plan. It was HEAVENLY! Can I suggest this again? A night away, date night, anything! Go camping together. It does not have to be fancy or expensive, just get away from all the crazy and be able to complete a conversation. It is amazing what happens! We always hear "back to the basics" and sometimes that is just true. I love all the technology and calendar on my phone, etc but sometimes a plain old calendar that everyone can see is the need. I need 1 functional family location so my planning began. A ton of brainstorming and talking with Brad produced the Parsons Functional Family system (thank you erincondren.com for the phrase and DARLING calendar!).




As you can see the calendar is a piece I used from a friend but mine are on the way (and not actually filled in with the week's activities!)! You can order it through erincondren.com and receive a years worth of weeks. We have had the chores spreadsheet for awhile but wanted it in a visible location. I found the dry erase board at target (I believe it is 22x35) and I screwed in the hooks at the top. I also got clip magnets so I can add a note or possibly a bday invite. I have our Christmas Lists in one currently. My family wants to see meals for the week so added that as well as the to do list that I could mark with the things Brad or kids can help with/do. This is hanging on our laundry room door where we all walk past it several times a day. Of course I will tweak it over time but this is the start.

Now, this adds some work to my life. I have to spend some time over the weekend planning meals and writing the calendar for the week. But, the stress that is relieved during the week is HUGE! No more 5pm dinner conversations...no more constant schedule questions...and I can see what is going on with chores. It is amazing how much mental energy it takes to deal with these few things and how great it feels to not have it swimming in my head all of the time.

The next step was getting my file system back in function. I started this years ago when we were in a tiny house and we needed one spot where everyone could keep papers, etc. I pulled it back out this week to reorg. There are those papers the kids bring home to keep and fill out, teacher info, receipts we need handy, vaccinations, etc. Just easier to have in 1 location. So, we all get a file. I can also keep gift ideas, vacation ideas, decorating ideas, etc. Obviously you need to create it for your family but it is a huge help to me!

For those who have asked, I hope this helps you create your functional family! It is one more step for me on my Journey to Wellness!

The Magic Pill

I absolutely detest the word diet. You see it all the time..tv, magazines, friends, etc. Diets are all the rage but what good do they really do?  Are any diets a long term change? Do they really change one's habits?  Generally one jumps on whatever fad diet is going on, has success for a short time and then falls back into the same old habits. How frustrating is that? Habits are really tough to break.

Have you ever noticed that when you finally decide to spend the time to change a negative habit, it actually is easier than all of the "magic pills" we try? But what does it take to get to the point of willingness to make those changes? It is different for all of us. I know that for me it got to the point that the pain of change was easier than the pain of staying the same. Sometimes we have to become fed up and just done. When we hit that point, what should we do then? If we jump on the fad diet and work hard for a period of time, we might get results but what has changed?

I had the privilege yesterday of joining a friend in the home of one of her athletes. We were doing a pantry makeover. It was such an honor to be a part of this very major change in this woman's life . . as well as her family's! We had the opportunity to pull things out and talk with her about why they are not the best choices. We could also point out the great things she had and made those up front and center. We talked about ideas for healthy meals, how to incorporate items she had and what items we suggest she add.

Weight and food are very emotional issues for many of us. I will be the first to admit how upset and frustrated I get when I let myself slack and I gain extra weight. This has always been an issue for me. From comments stupid fraternity boys made in college to my own critical self. We have messages in our heads and have to get rid of them. It is HARD! I have such empathy for those struggling. The gal we spent time with yesterday was tearing up talking about it. It makes my heart hurt when I know people are that raw with their struggle...mostly because I completely understand.

In the midst of frustration we look for the magic pill. I have a secret, I know what the magic pill is!! You want to know? Guess what . . .it is eating the right foods in the right amounts and cutting out all the processed junk. Of course exercise is part of that magic pill. The magic pill is not a shake diet . .. I know, many of you are going to be mad at me for saying this but it isn't. When one does this they can get results but what happens after the period of time. Are you going to drink shakes for the rest of your life? I know, for some it is a jump start. Why not jump start with a plan in place that actually teaches better habits for your lifetime? By committing to the fad diet, you were intentional. My challenge is to be intentional in habits that will last a lifetime.

One thing I have witnessed lately is how this all affects my kids. What are the messages we are sending to them, unintentionally, by the way we eat and behave around our weight. They are watching our every move ...both the boys and the girls. What message to you want to give them? We talk about our nutritional plan in the house. As soon as somebody talks about mom's "diet", I stop things right there. I am not on a diet. I have a nutritional plan I am following that will keep me healthy. And slowly my family is joining my plan. Many of you have seen my facebook pictures lately with the meals we have been cooking. My kids like some and don't like some. There are some tweaks I can do for the kids. They were prefer rice vs cauliflower rice and that is ok! I can make them both and the rice is just fine for them. Back to my point . . the kids are picking everything up. They ask me about balance in their diet, they refuse to go to McDonalds and they are willing to try most things. So, if not for you, isn't it work making lifestyle changes for your kids? We have a generation raised in a time where obesity and sedentary rates are skyrocketing. How are our habits contributing to our kids generation changing this or being one of the statistics?

Can you tell I feel strongly about this? I definitely don't want to be preachy. What I want is for us all to consider. Let's consider what we are doing to ourselves and our future generation. The phrase in my house since my kids could talk is good choice and bad choices . .. is what you are doing to yourself a good choice? I do not claim in any way to be perfect with this. I have my cheat meals, I love a glass (or 2) of wine, sweets are my downfall. But, my goal is to have a plan and work my plan. Do you just need a plan? I am working with a couple of people on this and results are happening! I am so excited for them!

I hope you take a moment to consider your magic pill. I did not even get into the rest of the great things that happen when we make good choices in our eating . . .more energy, better skin, general sense of feeling better, etc! You may think I am totally crazy and that is ok. For those who want to move forward and make some healthy choices, I would love to hear from you! Let me know how I can help you on your Journey to Wellness! Happy Thursday!